Jesus, my LOVE doctor

Recently a pastor asked a group of us this question - 'If someone gave you Rs 1 crore, what would be your first thought?'
'What does he want?' came the quick response from someone in the back. *LOL*

Later as I thought of that response, I realised something. We are all so conditioned to think that there's no such thing as a 'free lunch' that when something free does come our way, we can't simply accept it without judging the person's motives or feeling obliged to do something to earn it.

It's because of this mentality that for many years I couldn't seem to receive God's unconditional love. I couldn't understand how God could love me or bless me for absolutely no reason.

For years I prayed and read the Bible and felt that the good things I enjoyed were because I was a good Christian. I've even said things like 'My day went off well because I started it off with prayer' or 'I don't know if that could happen to me because I'm not as holy as so-and-so.'

How could I possibly think that my holiness merited God's favour? What deception!

Turns out there's nothing we can do to earn God's love and goodness. Even if we prayed all day long or devoted our entire lives to the ministry, it has nothing to do with God's love for us. In the same way, if we didn't pray or read our Bibles for months together, God would never stop loving us.

The Bible says, For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38).

Clearly, there's nothing that could ever separate you and me from God's love. If it were based on our behaviour, then God wouldn't have demonstrated His love towards us in that "while we were yet sinners" Christ dies for us (Romans 5:8).

Yes, God wants us to spend time with Him, praying and reading His word but that's only because He longs for a relationship with us. It is not the prerequisite for receiving His love. He cares about a love-relationship with us more than our tithes, our ministry or anything else we may 'do' for Him.

Someone once told me that there's a reason God created us as "human beings", not "human doings". All God wants is for us to remain (be) in His love and out of the abundance of that love, we will want to serve Him. If we serve Him out of duty, it's only dead works and filthy rags. God wants us to repent of dead works and just learn to soak up His love and enjoy His presence.

Let the time you spend with Him not be an obligation but a joy. Grow more 'in love' with Him every single day!

Offload the garbage!

Have you ever confessed your sins to God but felt like the guilt still remained? Or have you experienced rejection in your past (may be in your childhood), forgiven the person/s who hurt you but still felt the pain whenever you saw them? I know I have. In spite of repenting for my sins and knowing God has forgiven me, I was still carrying some sort of baggage.

The Bible says, As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us (Psalm 103:12). So why then are we walking around with guilt, shame and wounds that haven't healed?

Well, it's somewhat like this. When you write down in a notebook with a pencil and later erase certain things you wrote, the marks created by the pencil still remain. That's what happens in our lives with our pasts. We confess and repent and our past gets erased but there are always traces of it - in our reactions, generalisations and even beliefs. But our heavenly Father doesn't just want to erase our past. He wants to give us a brand new notebook to start afresh!

Just a few days ago, this became a reality for me. I attended a healing workshop conducted by Ellel Ministries, which involved Christian counselling and prayer ministry; and boy, was it an eye opener.

If you are thinking that inner healing is for the "messed up" and "rejected outcasts" of the church, you're mistaken. Don't dismiss this as something you don't need because you are strong in the Lord, in the Christian faith or even in ministry!

Life has its way of dealing with all of us; none of us are exceptions. Every one of your thoughts and actions are a result of this. So also, every one of your "ungodly" thoughts and actions are also a result of life's experiences. Ellel helped me deal with those deep-rooted behaviours that I developed over the last 23 years of my life. I saw for the first time the "garbage" beneath the rosy surface.

The amazing thing was that during the three days of ministry the Holy Spirit reminded me of things that I happened to me more than fifteen years ago, that I had buried thinking they didn't affect me. I confessed every dark, dirty secret of my past, cut those generational curses/ soul ties that bound me and forgave those who hurt me and I experienced God's amazing love and forgiveness like never before. And you know what it felt like? A total garbage offload!

God did a supernatural work in me that I cannot even explain. Firstly, He helped me break free from fears of people and of trying new things. He has put love in my heart for people who have hurt me. I actually want those people to be blessed. He has taken away certain sinful inclinations that I struggled with for years .... and the list goes on!!!!

Your mess (and I don't mean on the outside) could be a result of your past, generational curses, personal sin, soul ties and other wiles of the enemy that you have opened yourself up to, may be even unknowingly. You may ask 'how can this affect me now that I am a new creation in Christ?' (2 Corinthians 5:17). To that I would just say, accepting Jesus as Lord and Saviour doesn't change us overnight. It's a process. Confessing your sins and opening up to "someone other than God" exposes the dark areas of our lives to the light and when the light comes, darkness has to flee!

So am I saying repenting, receiving Jesus into your heart, and starting a new life in Him is not enough? Yes, it isn't enough. It's enough to be saved but if you really want to be the person God intended you to be, there are a lot of areas in your life He wants to touch and change if only you'll let Him.

Did you know that the sins your forefathers committed ten generations ago could be affecting your life today? Take a look at the genealogy of Jesus (Matthew 1). Judah begot Perez by Tamar. Tamar was Judah's daughter-in-law. Judah committed sexual sin. Ten generations later David committed the same sin. He committed adultery with Bathsheba. See the connection? The sexual sin of David's ancestor Judah showed up so many generations down the line. But the wonderful thing about God is that He longs to restore His people. In fact, when David truly repented (note: he didn't blame Judah), God didn't just restore him. He chose to send the Messiah through David's line.

I'm so grateful that I serve a God of second chances, a God of restoration and a God who hates sin but loves the sinner.

I can't explain everything about what I learned or what happened to me in those three days of ministry, but I've just listed a couple of steps that are vital for moving into freedom in Jesus Christ.

1. Confess your sin.
2. Take the blame for it.
3. Ask for forgiveness.
4. Tell someone mature about it (and don't hide the details).
5. Pray and ask God to heal and restore every part of you.
6. Continue in the healing by daily denying yourself and taking up the cross.
7. Be conscious that the Devil is out to get you. But remember, he has power but no authority. You have both, power and authority in Christ Jesus.

I hope you are blessed and I pray with all my heart that you make it to an Ellel workshop soon. You can find more details here.